We all human, we like to be prepared.
When we have tests coming, we would revise lessons we’ve had. When we have job interview, we would practice (some even talk to themselves in the mirror). When we’re going on a trip, we pack our bags and documents. We all like to be prepared. Because we know that our life events depend on just how much prepared we are. But I found that there is one thing we, humans, could never be prepared for. No matter how many people have gone through it. No matter how many studies have been done. No matter how conscious we are about it. No one, no human, is ever ready or prepared to face death.
We all heard many different stories about it. Some of us heard it from family, or a close friend, to a faraway relative. We heard about it so many times, we took it as a practice. We thought stories of other people’s experiences would be able to prepare our hearts when it’s our time to face the death of our loved ones. We thought other people’s stories would be able to guide us through. But only until we had experienced it first hand, we realized, no matter how much prepared we thought we are… We never were.
It all happen too soon and too surprising that it feels surreal.
Many of us scared of passing away. Many of us question and wonder when will be the day of our own death. We even imagine of the possibilities of our death. But no matter how scary our own death could be, death of our loved ones are always much more frightening. Because we all know that no matter how scary leaving this world could be, it is harder to be the one that left behind. Because we, among any other creature, are a highly social beings and we like to live with other social beings. We spend our lives belonging to a family, growing up with pals and friends, building connections and networking, finding ‘the right one’ to spend our lives together with and giving birth. We were always prepared for arrivals, birth, new items, entrance, etc. We are experts in welcoming. Which makes separation, farewell and death a hard thing to accept.
“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to our bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.“
– Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid
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